Kanashimi
by waterpeaches
Summary: It has been noticed that Loki grew more quiet day by day in his cell. Suddenly, he snaps, abusing himself and others around him. He is hopeless and truly broken, it was said that no one could heal him. That is until she enters this moment of sorrow. HIATUS
1. House of gold

**AN: Hey everyone! I really hope you enjoy this story! Creating this character was such a joy and I think she will be wonderful in this story. A warning tho, this story might have a few dark things, just a brief warning. Loki does not appear in this chapter whoops sorry. But this is sort of a backstory for Miku, and it helps set up the story. ~Moonmilk (Most of these chapters are either from song lyrics or the title of a song)**

House of gold

Kanashimi: Def. Sorrow

This was certainly different from the outskirts of Illinois. The scorching sun made Miku's head burn. She shoved her ebony hair back in a pony tail and trudged on. Only a few more blocks until her first class of the day, science. But not just any science, astrophysics.

She was doing this for her father, not for herself. Miku never planned her career path, she never thought long and hard about her future at all. She assumed she would settle down, maybe write a lot. She shifted her shoulder bag higher, growling at the weight of the books. Her father knew she had potential in astrophysics, she couldn't see how.

It took her father about a years worth of begging after her senior year in high school to just, 'try it'. It was not like she would be put in a 100 year deep sleep and awake on the red planet, right? Right?

The university she was attending in Arizona was quite small. There were hardly any 'Renaissance' styled buildings, no giant libraries, maybe a couple here and there. Miku checked her watch. Class would end in an hour and a half, then her Shakespeare studies would commence, at least that was something she would enjoy.

She began to sprint and climb up the hot concrete steps. She lifted her right hand and ran it through strands of black. She made it inside, it was small, only 30 students. She found a seat in the back corner and absorbed the scenery.

The floor was a nice mahogany, cleaned throughly, so it shined. The sun peaked through windows, giving it a sunshine feel. The walls were a light beige, Miku could notice a few writings on the wall. She squinted and adjusted her red rimmed frames.

Mostly just texting references. 'Lmao' 'XD' She leaned back in her chair and chuckled to herself. A couple of strong boy students were to the left of her, talking and goofing around. Most of the girls looked like her, normal, not like the gum poppers in high school, or the ones that flip their hair every 3 seconds.

Maybe college won't be so bad.

After a few moments, the teacher arrived carrying a large stack of books. She was a woman possibly in her late 20's. Her long shiny brown hair was neatly combed, and her lavender top seemed to stand out against the citrus colored room. She adjusted her navy jeans after she set the overwhelmingly large stack of textbooks down.

All was quiet, except for the whispers and chuckles from the boys. Miku pulled out her pencil instantly, ready to take notes.

Her professor introduced herself with a grin. She clasped her hands together, her French manicured nails gleaming in the morning sunlight. "It's good to see you all. Um, I am Jane Foster, your professor."

Some of the boys whistled and muttered cat calls. Miku rolled her eyes and twirled her pencil between her slender fingers.

Jane's lip trembled slightly and a quiet laugh broke out. "Um, yes." She ran a hand through her brown locks. Miku tilted her head, she knew Professor Foster seemed nervous, was this her first time?

"Well, this is my first time being here. First time teaching at a college actually,"

'Called it.' Miku grinned to herself.

Miss Foster began teaching, she was excellent, it was Miku's fault she couldn't understand the terms and how to calculate the mass of planets and stars. The class flew by fast, she was surprised that the rowdy boys didn't make one sound.

Miku was the last to get out, she took in the scenery once more and exhaled. It was certainly peaceful, and Miss Foster seemed relieved that her first day went well. Within a second, Miku was walking down the stairs, approaching the young professors desk.

"Um, hi. Can I ask you a few questions?"

Jane Foster lifted her head and molded a handful of dark brown hair behind her ear. "Yeah, what do you need." She stopped and began to hum to herself while she sighed through an enormously large stack of papers. "Miku Kyoko?"

"That's me." She chuckled, pointing a thumb to her cheek. "Well, I have some trouble with this,"

Miku wasn't the type of person to ask for help, but she took the chance. Her father would be exceedingly proud. Jane was very helpful, she was calm, laid back and patient when Miku was trying to figure out a problem.

Once the work was done. Miku just had to ask Miss Foster some questions, and she to Kyoko.

"You won the Nobel peace prize, right? That's so cool! I'm practically freaking out now!"

Jane chuckled and set her notes back in her cupboards. "It was a huge honor, but I really wouldn't have gotten such a thing if it wasn't for,"

"Thor," Miku giggled. "Yeah, I know."

Jane grinned and looked at the floor. "You sure know a lot, you're a newsie?"

"If that's what you wanna call me, yeah. I watch it every once and a while. Jane your a science superstar, my dad looks up to you."

"Is he a scientist?"

"You're a physic woman."

Jane smiled and then pressed her lips in a thin like. She folded her arms together and leaned forward a bit, her hair falling gracefully against her shoulders. "Do you want to be an astrophysicist?"

Miku shook her head rapidly. "No no no. My dad pushed me into this, I don't know how to get out. I guess I just have to do the work and get over it. I really have no plans for the future."

Jane frowned. "Miku, what do you like, educationally?"

"I'm more of a creative type, I enjoy reading, art, music, writing, acting, you name it! It kinda sucks when your mind is in a tangle of knots, trying to figure out what job would be best for you, while currently you work at a lousy noodle café."

"I've been there...how old are you?"

Miku swallowed. "22."

"You have a whole life ahead of you. I'm sure you will find something you like." Jane had to admit she enjoyed her company, she was extremely enthusiastic, it sort of reminded her of an old friend who she's still connected to. "I will help you out, if you're having trouble just ask me."

Miku nodded and thanked her professor. Her rose watch beeped several times, she finally lifted her arm and gasped. "Whoops, sorry, gotta go to next class."

"And what's that? Biology?"

"Ew no, Shakespeare."

Jane grinned and watched Miku charge up the stairs, her high heeled boots clunking against the mahogany wood. "I'll see you soon Miss Foster."

Jane nodded and Kyoko reached the top of the stairs. She put each hand against the sides of her mouth and hollered. "Oh, and Miku? Just call me Jane."

Miku grinned and off she went. Jane could have sworn she saw a trail of glittery flowers as she took off.

...

Shakespeare wasn't a bore, Miku was on the edge of her seat once they announced they were studying Macbeth for the next few weeks. She's seen the play at least 3 times and read it 10.

Some of the students groaned, supposably some of them had to squeeze in a language arts major, some poor saps were stuck with this. Miku rolled her eyes and began to put her hair in a pony tail.

The rest of her day was what she expected. Loads of work, studies, and fill out forms. She was able to afford a small house for 1 thanks to her job payment and her parents. Miku settled in, set down her books and plopped on her springy mattress.

She groaned at all the work she had to do. And she had to be at the Magic Sakura in an hour and a half.

She braced it. Kyoko jumped in the hot steamy shower, her pale complexion and body turned red. She quickly went over her math and Shakespeare, and took off to work.

Surprisingly the work pace went fast. Many sales, many familiar customers. She noticed the rowdy boys from her science class were there, a few you girls in party dresses (on a school night?) and a young man with short blonde hair studying alone.

The bell near the door chimed and a woman walked in.

"Ah~ Miss Foster." Miku's boss Arima greeted upon seeing the young professor walk in.

"Sorry I'm 2 hours late today, extra work and papers to grade. Plus I had to find the library and go lookfor more books." She sighed and set her purse down.

"Well we must give you our best today. No dilly dallying on this woman, ok?" Arima turned to the workers and they nodded. Miku set down the dishes she was washing and approached her teacher.

"Miss Foster, I didn't know you came here."

"Almost every Tuesday,"

"She's a weekly customer," Arima patted Miku's back and grinned. "So what will It be today Miss, Pork, Chicken,"

Jane ordered a bowl of noodles with chicken and chives, Arima was nice enough to give her a cup of tea on the house. She sat down next to the young blonde student and began to type on her computer.

After the young scientist finished her supper, she began to leave, and left a tip, it was also the end of Miku's shift.

...

"Jane! Wait up!" Miku walked towards her teacher, Jane stopped for her. "Sorry, thought I'd walk with you, that ok?"

"Yeah, sure! I usually don't have a lot of company in times like these, thank you."

Miku couldn't stop talking to her new friend, regarding Thor, herself, and New Mexico.

"So what was it like to see him for the first time in full armor."

Jane chuckled. "Truly magical, unfortunately I couldn't see Asgard at that time, but I did two years after that."

"Better than Disney world?"

"Better than Disney world."

Miku giggled and approached the bus. "Well, this is my stop. Thanks for letting me hang with you." Jane nodded slowly and smiled. Miku noticed a golden glitter on her right hand. "Oh, and congratulations."

Jane looked at her engagement ring and smirked. "Oh, yeah, thank you." Miku watched Jane's expression turn from cheery to awkward. "Erm, don't give it away. I don't want drama or anything to crazy to happen if some people find out."

"Understandable." Miku smiled, her black hair slowly drifting in the evening wind. The smell of bus motor smoke filled her nostrils. The girls watched the sputtering machine halt in front of them. "I'll see you tomorrow. Congrats again." Miku climbed the bus and took a seat on the far end.

She waved to Jane, then the professor disappeared in a back alley. Miku sat back in her seat. She desperately wanted to hear more about her stories with Thor, such as, the dark elves.

She looked out her window in the direction of which Jane departed in. She squinted, Miku could've sworn she saw a shooting star. She wasn't wrong at all, and it was getting larger. She looked at the other passengers in the bus, wondering if they noticed. No passengers.

A strike of light hit the alley, several light strips of lavender and baby blue traveled through the light, giving it an extravagant glow. Miku sighed in awe, she wanted to shake the driver and show him the spectacular sight, but it was too late, it disappeared like that.

She knew what it was. She knew it was Jane.

Jane Foster stumbled in what looked like a large golden dome, she Procter her landings several times in Arizona, she felt like she nailed it this time without stumbling.

She cleared her throat and looked above her.

"Heimdall, thank you."

...

Several months past, Miku was getting better at her astronomy studies. Jane and her got closer as friends and managed to meet each other every Tuesday at the Magic Sakura. Miku also met Jane's really good friend Darcy, it was certainly fascinating when she entered the mix. Miku's stomach hurt at the end of that day, she was still giggling the next.

November made its way into Miku's schedule, which meant Thanksgiving and a break for her. Plus the days were extra, the Arizona campus released that there is a crime investigation that will happen so all students will have a few weeks off because of inspection. The crime was that bad? Miku thought.

The day before Thanksgiving, Jane invited her to dinner again. After Miku's shift she sat down next to her friend and began to drizzle soy sauce on her rice. She noticed Jane was picking at her sushi, her hand was shaking.

"What's wrong, you ok?"

"My god you notice a lot. Um..." Jane paused. "I do have a question for you." Was she murmuring? Usually Jane was so open to Miku and even Darcy. "I would like you to come to Asgard with me. And-,"

It felt like the floor was soap to Miku, she nearly fell out of her seat. Asgard?! No way, was this real? Miku pinpointed the time of which Jane would enter the light portal, now she could be in it, what was it like? She heard physical descriptions from Jane, but that never satisfied her.

"And?" Miku steadied herself and looked into Jane's eyes with pure excitement, pale hands balled and on the table.

"And be one of my bridesmaids." Jane chuckled at her enthusiasm. Miku shook her head laughing. "I can't believe this, you sure, me?"

Jane laughed. "Why of course, you're a good friend Miku. Your not like Darcy nor Dr Selvig. Your like a...special friend. Darcy is a special friend and so is Selvig, you all have great and different qualities. I think you would be great! Plus Thor would love to meet you."

Miku wanted to spit out her rice. What would she tell her parents, should she tell her parents? She would just kindly let them know that she would be spending Thanksgiving with Jane, in Asgard.

'No skip the Asgard, just mention the holiday.' She noted.

"Hey, woah Miku." Jane grabbed her wrist. "I know you're excited, I am too."

"Sorry sorry." She squealed, she pulled her friend up into a hug. "You don't know how happy I am, please show me everything ok? I can't wait to get in a dress and the jewelry in Asgard will be so pretty. Oh! And,"

"Ok ok." Jane smiled. Miku stopped her rambling, but she was still shaking. "Go ahead, head home, get some rest. Meet me by the bus stop."

"And the alley?"

"You've seen it have you?"

Miku hummed. "Maybe~."

"Yes, the alley."

Miku did not get rest that night.


	2. Life support

**AN: Yay Loki's here! The plot thickens too, sorry if the beginning was slow :( ~Moonmilk**

Life Support

Miku arrived in Asgard with Jane that next morning. She was completely awestruck once she saw the golden bridge, the castle was even more spectacular.

Darcy, Eric Selvig were there, along with Eric Boothby, Darcy's boyfriend. Miku also had the pleasure to meet the groom himself. Thor was like everything Jane said to her, kind, handsome, polite, she was so happy she could be apart of this wedding.

After her introduction to Thor, an older woman walked in the main castle throne room. She was graceful, golden brown locks swayed as she glided towards Miku. "Oh, yes, may I introduce you to my mother,"

Miku Kyoko looked at Thor, then the queen of Asgard. She stumbled a little but caught herself and bowed. "It's a pleasure, erm I mean it's an honor...uh-."

"Oh my dear you mustn't be so timid." Frigga grabbed Miku's face and sighed. "Oh Thor what beautiful midgardian maidens you have as friends."

"She said the same thing to Darcy and me." Jane snickered into his ear. Thor grinned and nodded.

"Come, ladies, this afternoon I will show you your rooms and the dresses. The maids and I prepared them before your arrival." Frigga escorted the girls through the candle lit halls, leaving the boys to...whatever Asgardian men did during a wedding. Miku sort of wanted to stay in the throne room.

All three girls were to sleep together in a large bedroom with 3 twin beds on different sides of the wall. Drapes, golden walls and sculptures surrounded the 3 women. Jane crossed her arms in approval, Darcy grinned. Miku looked at them like they were from another planet, why were they so calm? This was amazing, so unbelievable.

"This is...so luxurious." Miku gasped. Oh how she wanted to flop on her bed and roll around in the fur sheets. "I just know I'm gonna thank you least a thousand times!"

"Midgardian life is so complex and different from ours. Lady Darcy was certainly just as ecstatic as you the first time she stayed here." Darcy nodded at Frigga's comment. "That is very true, except there was no wifi, pretty bummed on that part." 'I'm kidding.' She mouthed at the queen.

"Well, I believe I should show you the dresses. They were handcrafted by our finest tailors."

Frigga lead them into a small room on the left side in the castle halls. They were greeted by the maids who were preparing to change the girls. They did so, and applied a little makeup to give them the idea of their facial look.

Darcy and Miku's dresses were a light lilac with white capes, draping across the floor. Darcy squirmed in the clothing, for she wasn't the 'dressy' person, but Miku adored it, she twirled around happily and swished the pearl cape around like she was supposed to be a light knight in the darkness. Or a mystery assassin.

She thanked Frigga again. The queen smirked at the foreshadowing she gave before these many thanks.

Once Jane was finished with her pre fitting she entered the main dressing room for all of the women to see. It was quite large, full of jewels and layers of puffy skirts. Her makeup was full of silver and white, caked around her eye lids.

"Holy sh-," Frigga glared at Darcy. "Shish kebabs, Jane!"

Jane twirled around lovingly and giggled. Miku had to admit she was a tad bit jealous, but she was happy for Jane.

"I hope you find these to your liking, ladies." Frigga clasped her hands together, her rose lips curling. "If there are any changes you would like to make, we have so much time. The wedding won't happen for about a mother week."

Jane hugged her future mother and law. "No changes! I love it!"

"Oh that's wonderful dear. I'm glad I was able to please."

Jane Foster let go and the four women were taken by silence. Frigga looked out the main window of the room and noticed a mahogany sunset was taking place over her city. Darcy was about to break the silence, but Frigga drew in a deep breath.

"I must make haste,"

"Oh, well..." Jane cleared her throat. "We will see you tomorrow then, thank you for the preview."

"Yes, we will prepare the feast tonight, your idea of these 'holidays' are quite interesting dear Jane."

"Their understanding Thanksgiving now." Jane whispered to Miku. "I taught them all about it."

"Yes...well, I must be off. Thank you ladies." And with that, Frigga left the humans alone. Miku could notice that the queen seemed a bit off once she noticed it was evening. Plus she looked old as well, maybe she has sun downers? Miku ceased her rambling thoughts and the maids began to remove her bridesmaid dress.

"Is she alright? She seemed a bit off."

Jane nodded at Miku. "She's fine, I don't think we should really get into any of her business, we just know she always leaves the people of Asgard around the this time, we can leave it at that."

"I don't know Jane, Miku might be right she is a bit off." Darcy slipped on her t-shirt and put her glasses back on.

"Trust me. Queen Frigga is always fine, I've known her longer than any of you have, trust me...she's ok."

Miku nodded at Jane's statement.

...

Frigga pressed fingers to each sides of her temples as she slowly descended down the dark stair case. She passed several cells full of criminals, jawking at her through their mother tongue. The queen lowered her head, she was only focused on visiting once cell.

She approached a pair of guards, spears raised against each others, they broke their stance and bowed to their queen. Frigga exhaled and bent down next to a guard and looked him in the eyes.

"My queen, I'm not sure if I can let you in anymore, I believe-,"

"It's worse?" Frigga whispered. The guard looked up at her with fearful eyes and nodded. "Send me in, that's an order."

They disarmed the golden force field and raised their weapons until Frigga was inside the dingy cell. They closed it back up.

Frigga gave another staggered exhaled at the sight before her. The closer she reached the source of the tragedy the harder she scrunched up her face, because of the smell of body odor.

"Loki," Frigga began to stutter and whimper at the look of her adopted son. His hair was mattered and greasy, tangled in snarls, it hasn't been washed in months. His green shirt was torn apart, exposing pale and bruised skin over his chest, his trousers covered in dirt.

"Loki," She repeated again and knelt down, bracing the horrible odor. Loki didn't lift his head anymore, it was fixated on the ground, the dirt mattered ground. His books were scattered and some pages were torn.

The day was getting close, no doubt. Frigga thought. She stroked her sons hair lovingly and tried to lift his face up. She gently pressed the pad of her fingers against his jaw and lifted it upward, brushing the tangled ebony hair from his face.

His eyes were half closed and dazed, his lips chapped and parts of his skin were dry. His mother rubbed her fingers on his lips and eye lids, still whimpering. "Please, speak,"

Nothing. Not even a nod. This was the first time he never spoke to her, nor noticed her. "Speak," She whimpered once more. She could only see his chest rise up and down slowly. Frigga kissed his forehead and tears spilled down her face.

"Loki," She muttered, Frigga fell to the floor in a heap of sobs, only his eyes followed her.

A guard entered the cell the moment the queen fell, he picked her up and she squeezed his armored chest. "My Queen, your husband wishes to speak with you."

Frigga heaved and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Very well."

The guard set her down once they were out of Loki's cell and escorted her out of the dungeon. The last thing she saw of her son was a heap of black hair looking down at the ground once again.

...

Odin paced in the throne room, desperately looking for his wife. A guard came into the room, nodding, then letting his wife appear before him. A sob broke from her lips as she ran into the king's arms. Odin rubbed her back, nuzzling his head in her neck.

"He's gone, he's gone," She repeated. "I knew this would come, I knew it would-,"

"Shh, Frigga, please." He calmed her down by grabbing her cheeks. A tears flew down their faces, pattering against the golden floor. "I knew it would happen too. We must establish higher security, the guards told me everything."

"He doesn't recognize me." She sobbed again, Odin dried her tears. "Is there anything we can do, I can't lose him, please, if you let him go I shall-."

"No!" He snapped.

"You don't think he deserves redemption? It's been years. My love we can heal him, I must visit him this morrow we won't go mad, promise me."

"No," The King of Asgard said softly. "This can't be fixed, he must stay in his cell, same punishments, same routine. I will not have another threat on this kingdom, especially when my son will be burdened in matrimony!"

"Your son?!" Frigga raged. "Your son is descending. Your son won't eat, your SON hasn't had a proper bathing in 9 months!"

Odin let go of his wife and stepped back, his crimson cape almost cloaking him. "We mustn't trust him, no matter how much treatment we give him. No matter how much kindness we give to him."

"Thor would want this too." Frigga hissed.

"My son has much to address. He doesn't have time for a desolate criminal."

Frigga watched her husband leave the throne room and to his chambers. She clenched her fists, nails digging into her skin. "YOUR SON!?" She screamed. Frigga plummeted to the floor in a heap of sobs, more tears fell, hands through golden locks out of stress. Frigga saw a guard approach her and ask quietly if she wanted to head to her chambers.

Frigga's staggered breathing calmed eventually. She dried her tears and the guard pulled the broken queen up. "The guest chambers, please."

...

The next morning was a delight to Miku. Jane showed her around Asgard for a short while, then it was to the dining hall, where the 'Midgardian holiday' feast took place. Jane quickly went back to earth with the help of Selvig and Darcy to pick up Thanksgiving eatery, such as potatoes, 6 turkeys, yams, hams, cranberry sauce and more.

The feast was wonderful, her, Jane and Darcy taught many Asgardians about the Thanksgiving story. The Mayflower, the Native Americans and the British, and acts of kindness and thanks.

Miku was able to keep some food after the feast, and spent the rest of the night with Jane, Thor and Darcy.

"This Thanksgiving story is quiet interesting, I give you thanks for sharing it."

"Of course." Miku smiled. "But don't forget about your fiancée, she's the one that made it all possible."

"Man, it was hard to load all those turkeys and hams." Jane rubbed her back and chuckled. "But I'm happy to do it, you just wait till Christmas."

"I bet all of your holidays are a delight, Jane."

A guard entered the room and spotted Queen Frigga, he motioned her to follow him into a separate room.

"Your mom was there? I didn't notice." Darcy whispered.

"Mother has been more silent then the norm. I didn't know-," Thor cut off and watched his mother disappear out of the dining room.

"To be honest, I did see your mom-," Miku just about fell out of her chair once she heard the sharp screams of the queen.

Thor shot out of his chair, his eyes rimmed red. Only one word came to his mind once he heard his mothers wretched cries.

"Loki."


	3. Break

**AN: Studying the Japanese culture and this character is truly a delight. I enjoyed creating Miku and I wish to show you more about her in further chapters! Let me know what you think of her. Thor might be a little ooc :/ ~Moonmilk**

Break

No one stopped him.

Thor rushed into the room the guard pulled his mother into, unlocked the door and saw the queen on the floor, muttering, sobbing.

"Mother! Mother please, speak to me!" He knelt down and so did the guard, he pulled his limp mother in his strong arms and carefully grabbed her chin, pulling her face to his.

"Thor, it's happening." She sputtered, putting her head into his chest. Jane made her way in, she watched Thor hold his mother and begin to hyperventilate.

"What's become of him, what has he done?!" Thor growled. The guard stayed perfectly still while kneeling.

"He's scratched his arms until raw, milord. He almost killed one of our men during mid afternoon, when food was being delivered."

Frigga heard the news once again and almost passed out cold in her son's arms.

"Of course we could use the 'extra treatment', it would take a lot of work, since he's so capable of being insurmountable."

"Odin wishes no treatment," Frigga confessed, sobbing.

"But...why?" Thor gritted his teeth and glared at the guard. "Under my orders, you will attempt to cure my brother, I do not care what my father wishes,"

"Thor, don't, please, we can't-."

"Mother, we prepared for this tragedy to strike, it is in our hands now."

"This, 'drug', this treatment, how can it affect Loki?" Jane asked in the corner of the room.

"It is said that it can soothe an asgardian nervous system and mental system, but I'm not sure if it will work on jhotu-," The guard cleared his throat. "We will see what happens."

"He's been kept in there so long," Jane shuddered. "I can't even imagine the pain he must be going through. Thor, I'm with you, we can stop this."

The golden son lifted his head to his fiancée and nodded. It wasn't a response Jane expects, but she knew Thor was full of grief at the news of his brothers spiral descend.

"We must do the procedure now. I will attend and help, mother?" Frigga looked up at him and steadied herself. "Please stay with Jane's friends, they will give you satisfaction during this time."

Frigga could only nod and continue to bury her face in Thor's chest.

...

The bride and groom reached their friends with grave news. Miku didn't understand at first. Who in the world was Loki? And what about a descend into madness?

Jane, Darcy and Miku were ordered to retrieve Queen Frigga and escort her to her chambers, then their own. But Miku had different plans. The two other girls were busy with Frigga, that gave her a chance to catch up with Thor and the guards.

Her feet pattered against the shiny moonstone walkway, she appeared behind Thor and tapped his shoulder.

"Lady Miku, please turn back. I mustn't let you go no further."

Miku stared at the God of thunder, crossing her arms and she stuttered with her words. "Please, I only wish to help."

"You haven't seem true madness until now if you come. Please, a lady mustn't be apart of this horrific scene."

"I only wish to help." She repeated softly. Thor sighed and bent down slightly, grabbing Miku's hands as the guards carried on their journey.

"My Lady, please, return to my love, I kindly beg. A woman shouldn't need to enter the dungeons, unless her actions condemn her to Hel. Your womanly allies wouldn't enter such a risky act."

"Then I must be the few of women who do."

Thor bit his lip.

"Who was Loki?" She questioned.

"Loki was...he was..." Thor trailed off and stopped his lip from quivering. "He was a caged man. He was my brother, he was a lie keeper, a secret holder. We always shared our deepest secrets to one another. All of our happy moments faded away once he figured out he was only a piece of war, to keep two realms from brawl."

"Jane told me about the Frost Giants, he is one of them?"

"Indeed, that's what sparked his wrath on all nine realms, once he figured out his true heritage,"

"He was a murderer," Miku shuddered. "I remember on the TV, he-, and now he's-,"

"Yes. The punishments took him farther away from me. Before he would communicate, slight judgmental based remarks, or a self loathing scream of complaints. After that he would only talk with my own mother, that is until yesterday. No one. We knew he would enter this stage, but we didn't know when. It happened so fast. I didn't want him to lose his mind."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She whispered. Miku slowly pressed a tender hand on Thor's shoulder. "Please, if there's any help, let me know and I would love work with you."

"Thank you."

"Thor?"

"Hmm?"

"May I see your brother?"

...

Thor guided Miku to the dungeon, they passed the most fearsome creatures she's even seen. Thor kept warming her as she got closer. She could see the guards standing to the left with a strange machine in one of their arms. Miku said she would be fine.

But once they approached the cell, she wasn't.

His hair was messier than before. Smudges of blood covered the floor, along with ripped up books and papers. Ink splattered in the left part of the room, the writing desk destroyed, forming wooden splinters. The guard was right, his arms were scratched raw, blood dripping from each side. His right foot was cut open, a bloody shard of glass appeared next to it.

He was shaking, bitting his lip causing it to cut open. He didn't even notice the guards nor his brother.

Miku put her hands over her mouth and gasped. Her brows arched and her knees wobbled. She studied mental health back in high school, she's heard of it all, she's seen the side effects, but she's never seen anything quite like this.

Thor gasped too, tears began to fall to the ground. Miku grabbed his arm tightly, resting against it. She muttered his name several times, voice breaking. Thor stayed still.

The guards entered. The one with the strange device set it down and the group outnumbered him. Loki finally noticed and began screaming bloody murder. He lifted his hands and sent bloody glass shards flying, one striking a guard in the cheek.

One finally tackled him to the ground, grabbing his shoulders. He commanded the others to grab the machine and he threw Loki on his mattress.

They held him down as he squirmed, yelling and screaming. The strange object had a long black cord, sooner than later, they pushed it down his throat. The medicine inside forcing itself inside his system.

Miku screamed slightly. Thor was so close to fainting, a sob came out of his throat.

"You're hurting him...you're hurting him." He whimpered. He watched Loki slowly drift off to sleep, the antidote was in action. The guards took the force-feeding object and exited the cell, leaving Loki sound asleep.

"He should be better by the morrow." One muttered to Thor, before they left the dungeons, leaving the prince and his friend.

"I never wanted this to happen." Thor muttered and ran across the dungeon floor, up the stairs and to the left. Miku screamed his name again and ran to him. She reached a room with an open view of the night sky, drapes of curtains hung around the room.

Thor was there, leaning on the ledge of the balcony, looking down at his city. Miku rushed to him and grabbed his arm, he turned quickly, red rimmed eyes met hers.

"Thor, I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know they'd use such...aggressiveness."

"They promised not to hurt him, the medicine may cure him but not bring him back to the Loki I once knew."

Miku felt ashamed for coming, she wanted to leave Thor alone. She hardly knew this Loki, but she felt just as bad as him, no one deserved this, no once deserves to hurt that much.

"Please, return to your chambers,"

"But, Thor-I!"

"Leave." Thor hissed, he softly took her hands and slowly turned her around. Miku had to obey his command, she took off to Jane's room and knocked on the golden door. Jane Foster opened it with a curious, yet annoyed face. Miku ran into her friends arms, softly sobbing.

Jane began to soothe her friend, she took her to her bed and sat down next to her. "Why didn't you follow Darcy and I?"

"Jane, I just wanted to see him. I was interested and I shouldn't have went, I just don't know what to do anymore, I just want to go home, PLEASE let me go home!"

Jane hugged her again. "It's ok, it's ok. Miku I'm so sorry. I understand, you're curious, that's why I like you, but the dungeons aren't a place for you. Loki is hurting, and I'm not sure he will ever heal. He attacked our planet out of jealousy and anger. I am not sure he will ever get over those emotions."

Miku shuddered and clenched her nails into Jane's sleep shirt. "Thor's hurt, the Queen is hurt, Jane I am hurt. I hardly know him but I can't take this sight of pain."

"I know, I know. If I saw him I would break down to. He's a liar, a killer, a villain. But, no one deserves to be treated like that. Were the cuts bad?"

Miku's chin dimpled. "Y-yeah."

Miku talked with Jane for about another half and hour, then Jane helped her get into bed. Miku warned Jane not to visit her fiancée tonight, he wishes to grieve alone. Jane nodded in agreement and got into her bed.

She couldn't stop thinking about Loki. His scared jade eyes, his shaking hands and his cries of fear.

She made a conclusion at the end of that night of terror.

Miku was going to visit him again.


	4. Lovely

**AN: Chapter title based off of the song 'Lovley' by TØP :)**

Lovely 

Miku woke up earlier than she expected. She didn't bother to wash her hair, so she put them in two large pigtails. Jane was already dressed, she told Miku that Frigga invited them to a private breakfast with her and Thor. Strange, she didn't mention the king. Now that Miku thought about it, she never met King Odin yet.

Darcy was fast asleep, Jane said she would give her left overs. They left their friend in one of the guest rooms and made their way to a private dining hall.

Frigga dressed elegantly. Her golden dress draped to the cream colored floor, she was sparkling from head to toe. Or was also dressed in expensive attire, he sat up straight, hands folded at the table. Jane could noticed tears around the rims. She cursed herself for not comforting her husband to be last night.

Miku and Jane felt embarrassed for not being dressed in their Asgardian attire. They were only in t-shirts and jeans. Foster was the first to move, she took a seat next to her fiancée and Miku went to Frigga.

"So.." Jane broke the science. "Is this about Loki?"

"Indeed." Frigga sighed quietly and began to cut a piece of fruit, she nibbled it quietly and then sat it down. "H-he is progressing. The guards checked on him early in the morning, he rose, but nothing came out of him, no scream or bundles of sobs. He only glares now."

"It was said the guards were paranoid. Loki's sudden bursts of terror are no more I believe, but the guards believe a sliver of that might be present. He only looks at you when communication is involved. He doesn't follow it though. They don't dare enter his cell, we don't know if the antidote is in his system fully." Thor added.

"So, he's like a zombie?" Miku asked.

"Will the staring and silence wear off?"

Thor shrugged slightly at Jane. "We are not sure, it seems to be doing its job. I'm not sure if he will communicate."

"So he's brain dead?"

Thor slammed his hands on the table, which caused Jane and Frigga to stand up. Miku slumped in her chair. Why oh why was she here?

Thor sat back down and rubbed his chin and lips aggressively. He apologized for his rude action, he was just taken aback by the thought of his brother never talking to him again. Nor his mother, nor his father.

"We shall pay a visit today, but that guards prohibit our entrance to the prisoners cell." Frigga announced. Jane decided that she would like to attend the visit, for her fiancée. Miku told Jane that the procedure was horrific and that she also would like to attend.

What was Miku feeling? Why would she want to visit this wretch, this villian...this killer. Why was she interested, why even care? The images of his screaming, his crying, his sleeping, the saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth when they force fed him. It shook her to the core.

She also caught the image of his books, so he reads? Maybe he knows about Shakespeare, or does he enjoy poetry? She probably would never hear his opinion of his books, or his hobbies, he might be mute forever.

Their breakfast was finished. Miku only chewed on a piece of fruit and then followed Thor, Frigga and Jane into the dungeon. The cells have a different feel in the day than they do in night. What was it? Maybe it was because the guards were more energetic, or because the queen was visiting?

They reached Loki's cell. Within a second, Frigga gasped. Thor caught his mother in time before she almost fainted. Loki looked the same, same scars, same unwashed body, same bloody toes.

Jane gasped too upon her first sight. Truly no one has seen a man this hurt before. Thor stepped closer to his cell and took a closer look at his brother. His limbs were sprawled against the mattress, head down, dead like expression. The guards tried to pull Thor back but he stood his ground. "Please, let me see him." He couldn't fight it. "I have no quarrel and I don't intend on creating one. Please,"

"Thor, what are you saying you just sai-,"

"Jane, I can protect myself. I wish to see him, I wish to talk to him once more, trust me," Thor whispered. Jane grabbed his knuckles and kissed them softly.

"I trust you, bu-."

"Let me go."

Jane looked at Miku. "I would do it for him, consider it an inspection. If he attacks, I can handle myself,"

"Lady Miku you have no intellect whatsoever about my brother." Thor grabbed her shoulders. Miku squirmed slightly and pursed her lips.

"Just let me in, please, I wish to show him something. You can trust me. All of you can trust me please."

Thor thought about it. He would send a young woman into Loki's cell, not even armed, well..she was armed with a basket of left over food from Asgardian Thanksgiving. But what difference would that make? Loki could kill her in an instant if the medicine isn't corresponding.

With chapped lips and a frown. Thor mouthed, "Ok."

He commanded the guards to let he young girl in. Miku suddenly felt different when she walked in, was she scared? She hoped not, why would she be. Oh, well let's just say there is a slightly insane prisoner who is a few feet away from her, and she doesn't know if he would kill her or talk kindly to her. Hell yeah, she was scared.

The guards put the golden force field up and it muffled the sound. Miku made her way to the bed, where Loki was still staring at his feet. Not even moving an inch.

Jane, Frigga and Thor eyed Miku as she stepped in. The young girl sat her basket down and then herself on the mattress. She managed to give off a broken and shaky. "H-hey, h-hi."

Miku just about jumped off the bed once Loki lifted his head, and stared at her. She looked back at the rest of them, they too were taken aback. She looked back at Loki and blinked rapidly. His face was different than before, he was...sad. His jade eyes drooped slightly, his mouth was still chapped and speckled with blood from biting his lip. His brows were knitted, hands folded together, lightly folded.

"I'm Miku, Thor's friend." His expression didn't change. "Uh, well." She started to laugh. Why was she like this? Her hands began to shake as she reached in the basket. "So, we had a feast the other day, it's an earth holiday actually, Thor likes it. It's called Thanksgiving."

Frigga could feel tears coming down her cheeks as she watched Miku tell Loki the story of Thanksgiving, the Indians, The Mayflower etc. Miku set down a few rolls and turkey on a plate and then put the plate on his lap. "We had this, I saved some for you. Your brother insists you eat it, I think that would make him happy."

His sorrowful eyes watched her ramble, no quiver of the lip, no movement of limbs. Just the rise and fall of his chest and his eyes slowly wandering across her face.

"Uh, would it make you happy if I ate with you? Would it make it less awkward?"

Rise, fall, rise, fall.

"I'll take that as a yes!" She chuckled again and took out a roll, cut in half and set it on her plate. "I think your the most hungry out of all of us. You take the first bite, ok?"

Nothing.

She bit her lip and brushed an ebony ponytail. "I see that you read. That's pretty cool, h-have you heard of Shakespeare?"

She's said to much, he took no bites of his food. He didn't answer any of her questions, though there was a groundbreaking event that happened, he looked up. He was looking at someone directly.

"Well, I will see you later then? It was..nice to meet you...I guess." Her rambling stopped and she cleaned up the leftovers. She could feel Loki's eyes in her the whole time. She lifted her head once more and did her best of giving him a cheerful "Bye."

What made her feel even more awkward was that he was watching her as she exited the dungeon, through the gated force field he watched her, turning his head slowly.

Thor made his way in next, he greeted Loki happily, but no matter how much he tried to get his brothers attention, his green was stuck on her brown. Miku watched Thor sit at his bed side. Holding his hands and smiling happily, telling him stories about them as children, bringing up happy moments.

Loki still had his head turned to Miku, staring blankly at her.

Once Thor was finished, he linked Jane's arm with his and then he linked his other with the Queen. Miku slowly followed, she took one more glance at Loki, who was still staring at her. Miku didn't feel any sort of nervousness anymore, nor did she feel threatened. His gaze was soft and sorrowful, which caused Miku to tear up a bit. She couldn't cry, what a weak stupid girl she was.

She raised her chin once she noticed a guard came in with his lunch, he sat it down on one of his small desks and then quickly disappeared. Still, Loki did not flinch or take his eyes off Miku.

She looked at the ground, then his eyes once more. She clenched the basket in her hands and slowly trotted off, catching up to Thor, Frigga and Jane.

That whole day she told herself she would visit him tomorrow. But she didn't want the others around, she wanted him and her. She wished he would've talked. She wondered what his voice would sound like, maybe posh and greedy, cold and menacing?

Her ideas were crazy, but for some reason she felt like she would see the good in him. Thor sees the good in him, Frigga does too. She's not sure if Jane does at all, but Miku knows she sure does.


	5. Cobwebs and flies

**AN: So very sorry! I went into a writers block, plus I had a lot going on. But I managed to finish this chapter, enjoy!**

 **Cobwebs and flies**

Frigga and Thor have gotten progressively better. It's like their spirits were slowly lifting once they heard about Loki's 'awareness'.

Miku woke up late once again, even Darcy was out of the room before her. She slowly shifted to the right, and hopped off. What was Jane doing? What would it matter, sure, a good friend has to help her with wedding preparations, but Miku thought Darcy had it covered on whatever she was doing.

Miku walked into the large guest bathroom where there was a hot tub already prepared for her. She bathed, got dressed in her Asgardian clothing and took off down the empty golden halls. Each dorm held mystery, oh how Miku wanted to examine all of them, find secrets. This was a castle right? Of course it had secret passage ways.

She carried on, picking up her pace. She finally reached the dressing room and peaked in, no one, not a maid or a bride to be seen. Miku opened a pearly walk in closet and pulled a lavender hood off the rack. The silk self like nothing to her. She slipped it on and draped the hood over her head.

After that, Miku scampered off once more, making sure she was taking the right route.

Her hands tightened, fingers paler than before. She clenched the basket handle and headed for the underground. The unknown.

...

She was stopped by guards, expected.

"It was an order from prince Thor." Did her voice squeak? She swore she could have heard a squeak. The guards nodded in return. She asked them questions before her entrance to the cell.

"Is he getting better?"

"Progressively..." One murmured, which caused Miku to tilt her hair, her long pig tails falling, locks of ebony shielding parts of her mouth and nose.

"Like, is he speaking? Has he ate?"

"Like we said...he's progressively healing, we are not sure if he will speak in a matter of weeks, the antidote could take months."

Miku nodded respectfully. "Alright, thank you." Her voice turned into hushed whisper once they lowered the maize shield. There he was, once more. Not washed, same position of the bed, the scars were healing, but his lips were a pale pink, chapped with small blotches of red.

Once she took a step in, his head turned to her, just like the day before. She was close now, and then she sat on the bed. Miku did the same as before, she set out the same food, same plates, and waited for him to make his move.

"Hey there." She greeted softly. "Looks like we didn't really get to know each other. I think we can talk now, are you ok with that?"

No answer, just a slight twitch of the lips. Miku hung her head and reached her hand out, grabbing his roll, cutting it in half and then it was buttered. She set it back down carefully, and began to cut her own. I'm the process she spoke, "I think you need to eat, I mean, I'm not going to force it on you...but..everyone's worried." She waited, and waited. His staring continued.

She gave up and nibbled on the bread. Butter landed on the top of her fingers and she wiped them with a napkin.

"Why?"

She stopped, and dropped the napkin. Miku looked up at Loki. 'Did he just...'

"What do you mean, why?" Miku sputtered. "Everyone knows you're not eating and-"

"Why are you coming back?"

Miku paused and saw that Loki's mouth was parted slightly. She raised her chin and blinked several times. "Because I'm worried." She couldn't say anything more, she licked her lips and picked at her nails.

"Who even are you?"

"I'm-"

"Your speech pattern is out of the norm, intonation like this is not like my brother's people." His mouth twitched again, then he leaned upward. "You're from Midgard."

"Uh...yeah..yeah that's right. Midgard, Earth.." She looked down and grabbed her roll again. "I'm Miku...a friend of your brother, I already told you that but-"

"You're worried?" Loki bellowed plainly.

"My mom used to say that sometimes you need to show some people kindness, step out of the box, be the hero for once."

Loki's quiet chuckle caused Miku to flinch slightly. "Kindness, for me? Midgardian instinct is perpetually weak, ill minded."

"Not everyone is like that." She rebutted. "I've been trampled on, told to be someone I never wanted to be. It's crap, but sometimes I stick to kindness, I believe it can turn someone around...you're a candidate, now could you please eat?"

Loki was silent again, did she say something wrong? Was it to aggressive? His hand moved and reached for the small piece of bread, he raised it to his mouth, Miku turned and ate hers as well.

She waited for lip smacking, constant food shoving, a complete mess. No. He didn't even dig into the food like a hungry prisoner. It was small bites, no mess. He finished the half of the roll slowly, once he was done Miku locked eyes with him again.

"See, that felt good right?"

He looked down at his plate again, staring at the other piece of roll.

"So," Miku muttered. "I noticed your books, do you know Shakespeare?"

"You asked me that already,"

"You didn't answer, do you?" Miku asked as politely as she could. Loki opened his mouth and then closed it, she hopped off the bed and saw some ripped book pages. She picked one up, frail and somewhat ripped at the edges.

MACBETH

"You do read it? Thor told me you were introduced to it when your dad stopped by in disguise and-"

"He's not my father!" Loki screeched, his head twitched and he swiped the glass plate off his bed, it hit the force field, sending small embers flying at him. He lifted his scabbed arms and began to claw at it once more.

'He's not my father!' That's right, that's right! Why did she say that?! Miku threw the transcript of Macbeth to the ground and ran to Loki. "Stop, please stop! I'm sorry, look- Please, no please!" Her speech turned to small sobs.

His grunts grew louder as blood seeped out of the once healed scars, dripping on the dingy white sheets. Miku grabbed his bloody right arm, trying to seize the sudden self harm. Loki stopped abruptly and looked at her, his green eyes glossy. The guards were already in their position to settle he prisoner down.

"You've should haven't come." He whispered hoarsely. "Please...leave me be."

"But,"

"Please..." His voice was faded. Miku reached in her basket fanatically, taking out another napkin. She reached for his arm and slowly applied it to his wounds.

"Don't-"

Miku's break hitched as she looked at the cloth, there was even more blood that she expected. The crimson continued to drip, then sliding against the metal rail of the bed.

"Leave." Loki pleaded silently once more. Miku just had to obey, she gripped the cloth in her hands and packed the food up quickly. The shattered glass, the uneaten slice of bread. Then, she took a small book out of the basket, setting it on his lap lightly.

"I wanted to read it with you, maybe you can by yourself."

Loki cocked his head and looked at the title of the book. 'King Lear'.

Miku was already on her way out, a guard motioned her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She brushed her black locks away from her when she turned to him once more. She slightly smiled before she made her depart. Loki's brows arched upward at her as she walked away.

He gripped the spine of King Lear tightly.

...

"Thor wishes to visit him again. They say he's even better than ever."

"He is?" Miku tried to be surprised. Jane opened the door and walked halfway.

"You don't want to go?"

"I think...I'm alright..." Miku grinned, taking the bands out of her pony tails, letting her knotted hair free.

Jane mouthed ok happily and shut the door. Darcy was gone, who knew where she went. She told Miku she would never visit Loki in her life, he pisses her off. No, scratch that, she is furious with him.

She shifted her head and saw the ripped pieces of a bloody napkin in a small waste basket. Miku sighed and flopped on her bed and then curled up. She failed, she wanted to at least share a small 'normal' conversation with him. Was the antidote really working? Arms were scratched raw again, where are the signs of peace?

She didn't want Loki to go through that pain, the idea of a large tube trailing down her throat. So what if she cared for him, she cares about a lot of people. She cares for people that don't even care for her.

'But...he has killed thousands..'

'He was lost.'

'He's going to kill himself. I can't let him, for Thor's sake.'

Miku gritted her teeth. She looked at the ripped bloodied paper in the trash can and sat up. It was only 1 PM. She would have to wait a day to visit him once more.

Was she really visiting him for Thor's sake?


	6. Trees

**AN: I think all of the chapter titles will be related to TØP from now on, the only title that wasn't connected to those artists was Life Support, a song by Sam Smith. Anywho, chapter six is here, wow I am so mean to Loki :/, I hope he finds serenity. ~Moonmilk**

Trees

Jane came busting through the door that night. The feeling of the room changed once she opened her mouth.

"He's speaking, Miku."

Again. Miku had to act. "Oh, wow, great! Is he eating?"

"We didn't bring food this time, but the guards say that he won't eat their food."

"Jail food sucks, no one eats it."

Jane shrugged, she moved to the bathroom and took a moist cloth, removing her clumps of ebony eyeliner and chocolate eye shadow. "That's true. Maybe we can dig in a pantry, sneak some into the cell."

'I did, he only took small bites, it wasn't even like he was starving, but...by the look of his body..' Miku wanted to say it out loud, that she ditched the gathering, the wedding preparations just to see him.

"He ripped his Shakespeare books apart." Miku smirked at Jane.

"Well, I bet that offends you. It's interesting isn't it, that Odin retrieved those books when he traveled to his time. I think Loki likes them, he's just...lost y'know, bored, frustrated."

"Yeah...yeah I know." She bit her lip hard, her eye lids fluttered when she tried to shut them. "I feel like we should give him something to do, I can teach him things, like Earth customs. I know some things about my 2nd ethnicity, Japanese. I'm actually practicing the painting, Japanese calligraphy, using sumi ink. I only know a few words, but I'm sure he would be interested."

"That could 'umph' his spirits up a bit."

"And, I would like to go by myself,"

"Wha-, why?" Jane crossed her arms, pursing her lip at Miku's frantic response.

"He's just begun his speaking, right? One person in the room is enough, the idea of painting the letters and such might give him peace, and who knows, if he's up for it I can teach him a little."

"You have a point." Jane sat next to Miku on the bed. "The wedding is soon, and I think we've figured out where it will be set up. In the gardens."

Miku was happy for her friend, she was happy that her whole vacation will be spent at a kingdom, home of a famous hero. And even if Loki dismays her, or if his words cause him pain, she was still happy to visit. She had to keep her mouth shut about Loki, Jane didn't even know that she left while her and Thor were making plans.

"Oh. Great, I'm sure it will be...beautiful." Miku raised her eyes and glared at Jane's hazel ones.

"Miku, are you alright? You seem off,"

"No, no. I'm fine! It's just been an off day for me." Flashbacks of the dripping crimson on the mattress caused her to flinch. "Y'know I never got to do this," She reached into her bag and pulled out a DVD player. "We just had so much work to do and I forgot to mention I brought this." Miku reached in her bag and pulled out two movies.

Mulan.

Beauty and the beast.

"You want to watch?"

Jane chuckled. She has shared a few moments where her and Miku watched some cheesy movies such as the princess bride, or WALL-E, she always enjoyed a good Disney film every once and a while. After Jane agreed happily, Darcy arrive who accepted with full delight as well. Off came her burgundy scarf and into her night drapes.

The night grew long. Jane and Miku noticed Darcy already drifted off. By the time Belle found the Beast in human form, Jane insisted in stopping.

"We are still preparing. So, I will need to get up earlier."

"Oh, alright." Miku packed up and put the essentials back in her bag. It was not long until Jane broke the silence since she hopped into bed.

"You really want to go alone, and teach him those things?"

"Well, yeah." Miku shrugged. "It will be fun, for me and hopefully him."

"But, you know you two are completely polar opposites. Miku, I see you as a...well, let's bring work into this, a sakura dancing in the wind." Miku laughed at Jane's metaphors, she instantly thought of work and her boss Arima. "And Loki...he's this...crippled brown one...er, let me rephrase that, a pine tree, a still pine tree, slowly bleeding out sap."

"Yikes." Miku giggled, which caused Jane to mimic.

"Are you sure, if anything goes wrong I will be there, don't be afraid to call me." Jane placed a hand on her friend's. Miku hugged Jane instantly.

She let go. "I will grab the paints tomorrow, don't worry, I'll be fine."

...

That's exactly what Miku did. She got up early, wore earthly clothes this time, and asked the guards to carry her stand and cheap canvas from the Asgardian hall of arts. The barrier fell in Loki's cell, she entered. Same lips, same frail frame, same outrageous odor.

"Hey again!"

Loki was perched on the ground now, near his scratched white walls. His skinny legs were pushed against his chest, the scabs on his legs were healing, toenails were over grown. One of the guards put the stand and canvas up, one gave Miku her paints. While they were in her hands, she bent down, trying not to be too close to him.

"Hey..." She said in a quieter tone.

"Didn't I tell you not to com-"

"Yeah, I know I know I know. But, did you read it?" She looked at Loki's left hip, King Lear was perched against his left frail side.

"Certainly exquisite." He judged.

"So, you liked it?" Miku squealed slightly, clenching her hands.

"I suppose."

She squealed for real this time. "Sorry, sorry. But, wow, finally, someone who appreciates Shakespeare!"

"It has truly captured my attention at a young age, when your people were entering a renaissance, father was kind enough to loan me some pieces, I haven't read this one until now, I enjoyed it, thank you." His voice was small, nasally, bored.

Miku nodded and stood up, still gripping the black paint cans. "I think you could be my audience today."

"What for?" Loki sat up slightly, the he leaned forward.

"Where my ancestors were from, they practiced Japanese calligraphy, it's fun, I learned a little back in high school." She took a brush out of her pocket and dipped it in a new can of black paint. "So cat is spelled like this-"

"Didn't I tell you to leave and never return?"

"ネコ" Was Miku's plan, but at the ネ, her brush began to fall, the black trailed down the canvas and onto the floor, just like his blood. She was silent for a moment, then the brush fell in a heap of ebony splatter.

"I only wish to-"

"What's draws you here, you came to mock me didn't you? Gloating will not satisfy you."

"You know what I said yesterday. About kindness? I see you, sulking, hurting." She moved closer to the pale, grief stricken man. "I know your story, like your mother, like your brother, I see hope. I see a friendship, I wish to make you happy? Why would you turn down a friendly person?"

Loki pressed himself back against his wall. "You know nothing. You're a mere midgardian, stuck in a place where you shouldn't belong, none of your friends belong here, with Thor, nor my mother, nor Odin. You swine!"

That was it. Miku shot up, her black boots tramping against the ground. Black paint shaking once she stood up. "I am not a mere midgardian, I am Miku Kyoko, I work at a noodle shop, I am a friend of Jane Foster who is indeed, getting married to your brother. Do you want to know Loki? Do you want to know why I can't visit you?" Her brown eyes pierced his jade ones. She noticed that Loki's chest was inflating, up and down, up and down. Faster, faster, faster. "I don't want you to kill yourself!" She spat, tears forming in her eyes.

Loki clenched his fists and leaned forward, shaking as he screamed. "He's. Not. My. Brother~!"

"Do you want to know what I think of you, do you really want to know?!" Her voice began to crack. Loki fell against the wall, his snarled hair swinging back and forth.

Miku moved to her canvas again, not even worrying about the guards. With her hand she wiped "cat" free. Black dripping from her palm now. She picked up the brush and violently dipped the brush in. She picked it up, aggressively pressing it to the smeared canvas. Up and down, side to side, she painted. Loki watched, still breathing loudly.

With a few tears splashing to the dirty ground and a clenched hand, she finished. She threw the brush to the ground, it landed on his bed, staining black on the milky sheets.

She took the canvas, threw it to the ground and kicked it over to Loki. He didn't budge, but he eyed the canvas, still gasping for air. Miku swished her head, the barrier fell for her and the guards escorted her out with awe stricken faces.

Loki eventually lifted the canvas, his dark brows knitted together, his hands began to trace the unknown word. "悲しみ"

Miku didn't answer the guards, her boots pattered against the dark floor, her tears illuminated by the bright golden light of the cell barriers. She clenched her fist, and bit the side of her cheek. A sob was close to escaping her throat, she swallowed thoroughly, and walked faster.

The last things she heard was the faint screams of Loki. Nothing else, it felt like time stopped in the dungeon, no other prisoners talking, taunting, not the sounds of the guards pattering feet. Nor the chunkiness of their armor. Just a cry for help, words of regret, and a question, all wrapped in one.

"Who am I?!"


	7. Fall away

**AN: Thank you all for your comments and support! 3 You guys are the best! More chapters are to come, sorry for the wait :) ~Moonmilk**

...

Fall away

The straight path of triumph and sanity trudged on, but suddenly it stopped, falling off the bar graph. Thor was sad to hear that Loki was becoming more abusive to the guards again, and himself.

"He...he was so close." Thor pressed a palm to his forehead, holding back a sob. Miku wasn't hungry, she picked at her carrots and potatoes viciously, while listening to Thor's choked voice.

"How could this happen? It's his heredity, correct?" Queen Frigga asked her son. "The antidote isn't progressing correctly."

"Possibly." The hammer god took a bite of potatoes, then wiped his eyes.

Miku set down her fork, clattering against the china plate. Within a second, two pairs of blue, hazel and green were on her.

"Miku, are you alright?" Darcy asked in a shaky tone.

"No! No I'm not I," She paused and looked at Jane, then Darcy. "It's all my fault!" She pushed the golden chair back, it screeched but she didn't mind. Miku trudged out of the dinner room, into an open chamber, exposing a full moon. The same room where she saw Jane's fiancé cry, the day where Loki was assaulted.

She felt like he was assaulted, the images of his struggles haunted her every day since. Her chocolate eyes filled with tears, the streamed down her white face. It was all her fault, her and her rambling, not thinking before she speaks. Bringing up King Odin brought Loki into tears. And he brought her, like an assembly.

Why should she care? Why did she even bother coming over yesterday. She made a mess inside him and made a mess in his room, covered in black, with sad words written for him. She thought of him caressing the painted word with his bony fingers, screaming out behind her.

A brash voice echoed behind her. She turned and noticed a royal purple scarf. Darcy ran up to her, raising her eye brows in dismay. "What are you doing? Why is this your fault, c'mon." She grabbed Miku's wrist. Miku hesitated and leaned against the railing.

"No, I can't...I did something I will regret forever. His medicine cycle is broken, he's hurting himself again! He insulted me when I brought up the king, and..." She was blubbering, why was she blubbering?! "I had to leave him, Loki warned me not to come back before and I did, it's worse than ever."

"Miku stop!" Darcy grabbed her shoulder, then it moved up to her neck. She shook her. "Stop ok? It's not your fault, ok? Look, Loki is...he's lost alright? A screwed up man who treats others the way he treats himself! I told Frigga and Thor about yesterday, they are not mad, they understand what you want to do."

"Darcy, he's going to kill himself he can't kill himself! I hardly know him...yet I know so much. He can't go, Thor needs him."

Darcy looked at the floor and pressed her lips together, her green eyes were blinking rapidly. "Miku...I think we need time. We just need to wait. You should be happy, and I should be happy ok?" She noticed Darcy's eyes were growing red. "I don't want any crying, no crying at this wedding!" Darcy chuckled, her red painted lips quivering. "I don't want my friends crying..."

Miku chuckled too. "I'm sorry," She let out a shaky sigh. "I just can't let him die, no one wants him too."

Darcy soothed Miku more, then she asked if she would like to return to dinner. Miku walked in front of her while Darcy kept a hand on her shoulder.

...

"I understand your need for sympathy, but he must be in there for his...deeds." Frigga's lip quivered slightly.

"Just give him space, everyone should leave him alone until the medicine is in full swing. Give it two or three days at least." Jane mentioned. Miku felt sick to her stomach, it felt like her 'pep' talk with Darcy wasn't enough.

They continued to eat their supper. The conversation shifted to Jane's wedding and plans. It was to be held in the garden, all of Asgard's richest were to attend. Really the only mortals that will partake is Miku, Darcy, Ian and Selvig.

"Everything's all chosen. Things are being set up soon, I just couldn't have done it without you all, thanks." Jane gave her regards to her future husband, her future mother in law and her friends. Smiles and squinted eyes seemed to fill the room more than tears and frowns, because of the conversation shift. The wedding will happen, the vacation's done, and Miku will return to the Magic Sakura, living a normal life, getting her student loans payed off.

"Pardon. My Queen-,"

Heads moved to the guard who opened the golden dining hall doors. "My queen," He began to stutter. "T-the King wishes to see you, all of you."

Frigga frowned and stood up, grabbing Jane's hand.

"Wait, what's going on?" Darcy called, but it was too late, Frigga and Jane already took off.

"Follow me." Thor ordered and took Miku and Darcy to the throne room. Miku stared in awe at the small details of the walls, the golden glow was truly spectacular, especially at night when the torches of fire glow against it. Sitting on the throne was King Odin himself, staring down at his wife and future daughter in law. His chin lifted higher once he saw his son approach with the two other women.

"Husband." Frigga trembled. "Is...is this what your decision is?"

Odin said nothing as he got off his throne, slowly staggering down the golden steps, approaching his wife. Jane backed away and stood next to her fiancée as Odin stroked his wife's face. Frigga leaned into her husbands touch, and began to stroke his silvery worn-out locks. "I can't bear it any more." She sobbed.

"Alas, it is quick. It will help him."

"What will father, who?"

Odin turned to his son who was closer to him now.

"We must begin another procedure, and send Loki to a different chamber. Somewhere private,"

"Is this a joke father?" Thor half laughed-half coughed from sudden sorrow. Lighting blue eyes grew darker as his father told Thor his plan.

"I have already ordered a guard to send another antidote to his quarters, there he will be faced with another force fed."

Miku flinched and grabbed Jane's hand. The scientist squeezed it , then let go and rubbed her back. Miku tried her hardest not to shudder, the pressure for crying was harder than ever. Miku was starting to believe that all Odin wanted to do was to hurt Loki, to keep giving him punishment after punishment.

"Father, this is assault!" Thor roared, blue eyes boiling with anger.

"Don't talk back to your father like that! Your king!" Frigga's voice grew more cracked as she spoke. Thor could notice a single tear streamed down her cheek.

Thor bowed his head in defeat. Jane approached him and grabbed his arm, looking into his eyes. She rested against his chest, he kissed her caramel locks and held onto her.

"You will not be visiting him...for as many days as possible. He will be moved in a hidden chamber, to be punished for his deeds." Odin concluded.

Miku hung her head and watched Jane and Thor depart after telling the all father they 'understand'. Frigga decided to stay with her husband, and finally decided to sleep in the same quarters as him. Miku lifted her head and brushed her ebony locks away, revealing a red, grief stricken face.

"Wait! Hey Miku wait!" She sped off, sobbing uncontrollably. Odin swished behind him, watching the unknown mortal run like a madwoman. Miku pushed Thor and Jane out of the way, Darcy tried to catch up to her, but failed. She continued to call out her name.

Miku ran down the empty halls, choking and gritting her teeth. She picked up the pace and ran down another hall, then another. Finally she reached the dungeon and tried to escape the oncoming guards. They grabbed her wrists and wished to pull her back, but she slipped free. Miku raced down the halls, passing every heathen, monster, criminal, until she reached the cell of a broken man.

Miku stopped and saw him. Still the same Loki, staring back at her, hands on his lap while sitting against the dirty wall. Her tears dropped to the ground, and several sobs escaped. His eye brows were raised and he sat up, staring at her with more intensity.

A guard entered his cage, and she could do nothing about it. The approach was slow, Loki slowly registered that the Aesir guard was there. A blow to the cheek, then the stomach.

"Runt!"

Another guard.

"Monster!"

A cry escaped Miku's mouth, she wanted to pound on the golden gate, but she knew that alone would kill her. More kicks, more insults. Blood sprayed from Loki's mouth and it splattered to the floor. Soon it would dry rust like the other splatters, on the bed, on the wall.

The more she screamed the worse it got. The two guards grabbed his limbs and pinned them on his unwashed bed. He was force fed again, the long tube plunged into his throat violently causing him to vomit. The medicine entered his body, slowly working its way inside. The guards continued to pin him down, bones starting to crack.

'Stop! Stop, please!' She wanted to cry. A strong hand grabbed Miku's delicate arm, a guard held her back. This time she screamed aloud. "Stop! Stop, please! Loki!"

They let go of him, the cord was out of his throat. The two guards threw him off his bed and on the ground. Another 'crunch' was heard. His body was motionless on the floor, most of his shirt was ripped, forest green fabric littered to the floor. Bruises covered his abdomen, legs arms and forehead. A small pool of crimson flowed from his foot.

Miku collapsed, the guard's rough calloused hand still gripped on her as she fell to the ebony floor. Why? Why did they hurt him again, he's had his punishment! Miku's mind swarmed with thoughts and worries,Moshe looked back at Loki and her heart tightened. Why was she feeling this way, why was she so drawn to this man, 'The monster' they called him.

She let it all out, crying a river. She watched his motionless body disappear from her, the guard ran away from the cell of Loki and out of the dungeon. Miku's tears dried on her cheeks, her lips red and puffy from the screaming. An ivory moon looked down on her as they passed through an open room, past Jane Foster's room, through another hallway. The open walls showed the moon again. Miku arched her brows and drooped her eyes, her mouth was agape, breathing and sighing.

The moon started to move, the stars blurred. Strands of black covered her eyes until it surrounded her.

...

Loki awoke in a heap of white. He inhaled as he sat up, glowing fire was in each corner, stacks of his old books were beside him. He was till dressed in the same fragments of clothing, the scratch and rubbing of the fabric against his skin caused him to wince.

The room was hidden, no golden barriers. His muscles screamed for him to stop moving, so he fell on the mattress, tangled hair outstretched. He stared at the mahogany celling for hours, then he turned his head to the side and caught a sight of black and white.

The painting of Miku sat by his door. Loki sat up and arched his brows, bloodied lips parted. His hands slowly moved across his abdomen, then they locked in place. He pressed against his stomach and let out a scream, then the screams turned to unstoppable sobs.

He began to tear the sheets of his new bed apart, he fell in a heap of blankets and grabbed his hair, he let go and noticed blood on top of his finger tips.

'They pulled me. My hair.'

Loki gritted his teeth and released yet another scream. His voice became raw hours later, then he collapsed. Surrounded by the tangled sheets, new blood from his hair seeping into the sheets.


	8. Ruby

**AN: My apologies for the short chapter. I won't be returning for a short while, I have a huge writing project to work on in English, but I will definitely return to Kanashimi, no doubts! I have so much planned for the next few chapters ~Moonmilk**

Ruby

A bright light blinded Miku for a short while. But then she could make out the faces and figures. Jane, Darcy and Ian.

"Jane," She wheezed. The scientist turned her head in surprise and bent down at Miku's bed side.

"Miku, can you hear me?" Jane carefully grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly. Miku nodded, a small moan escaped from her lips.

"What happened, where's Thor? Where's- where's Loki?"

"He's under care right now, in secret." Ian rubbed his knuckles, blankly staring at her bed side. Darcy moved to her boyfriend and touched his shoulder.

"You know it was assault. Odin is going to kill him." Miku shook under the covers.

"Miku, we can't fight him. He's a king, we are the visitors." Jane mentioned.

"But...no, we can't. Jane he's getting beaten for no reason, the king is drugging him like he's a test monkey. For what reason?" Miku sat up on her bed her eyes frantically scanned for approval. Jane bowed her head, Darcy was staring directly at her, brows arched. Ian let his girlfriend go, Darcy grabbed Miku's hand and took a deep breath.

"Miku, please calm down. Can't you let it go?" Darcy moved closer to her and began to whisper. "What did I say about him, he's screwed up. And our friend is getting married, please we can't ruin this for her."

Miku inhaled as her brown eyes closed and opened slowly, carefully. Then they began to flutter as she spoke. "I-I know. It's just-,"

"We all know you feel for em', Thor does, Jane does, hell, even Ian does. But he killed thousands Miku, he needs this. I'm sorry to say this...but it's his destiny for now."

Miku shook her head. "I can't agree...I can't let go, I swear I saw good in him." She choked. Jane gave her a reassuring hug, telling her to forget about Loki, to go wander Asgard with Ian and Darcy. But it's not like Jane could just say forget about Loki and Miku would feel all better. She told her that so many times yet Miku went back and saw him. Now he's gone, she broke the flow of medicine and now he's getting tortured more and more.

"Alright, alright," Miku lied. She got out of the bed and Darcy escorted her to their room. Once she was showered and dressed, Miku stepped out into the castle halls. Everything changed once she came out of her room, the feeling changed. Caterers and decorators filled the rooms with large bouquets, meals to prepare and strange instruments Miku had never seen before.

She couldn't help but smile at the sight. Darcy insisted on taking a walk around he gardens and watch the wedding preparations take place. Miku smiled even more at the sight, they way Jane described it was spot on.

The rest of the day Darcy treated her with a fine dinner along with Ian. The culture was interesting, the food was interesting, but with everything she saw only one name popped in her head. She tried her hardest not to reveal any form of tears.

Loki.

...

It was the 3rd time he was beaten. Pain coursed though the stomach, head, limbs and chest worse than ever before. The guards mocked him, still calling him 'monster', 'killer', 'liar', the list went on.

Loki couldn't even hear any more, his head was so badly damaged that all he heard was a faint ringing tone, and the impact of the blows. He could tell the 3rd session was almost done, the guards thrashes were slowing down. To finish it off, one more punch to the stomach and he was flown against the hard wall.

The guard towered over him. Loki watched with dazed eyes as he bent down, then clamping a hand over his mouth. Loki could taste the rust on his fingers and smell fire wood. He felt something coming up his throat. Loki hummed slightly.

"What was that frost runt? Hmm?" The guard questioned, hand still over the thin chapped lips. "Do you hear me?" Loki's eyes got suddenly larger, his brows crinkled. "Do you hear me?!" Bile moved between the guards fingertips. He screamed loudly and gave him another slap, the noise now erupted around the room and Loki could hear it plainly.

He slumped to the ground lower, then curled slightly. Loki was motionless, the guard kicked his shoulder slightly, he shifted slightly, whimpering, blood now pouring out of his nose.

The guard scoffed and left the post, shutting the wooden doors behind him. The force made the candles burn out, small tendrils of smoke surrounded Loki. He whimpered louder and groaned as he sat up, his feet ached as he pulled himself on his bed. Newer blood dropped on the sheets once again, he didn't stop the flow from his nose. He sniffed and leaned down, pulling a portrait from under his mattress into his hands.

He sniffed harder as he examined Miku's mystery word. Blood fell on the 'cat' smudge, he wiped his nose, whimpering even louder.

Loki looked at it forever, that's what it felt like. He didn't even know what time it was, it could be morning, or night, he didn't care. He needed sleep, he needed food, he wanted her food, he wanted her stories.

He stared at the portrait even longer, making out the small squiggles in the large one word picture. Loki had come to a conclusion, and he couldn't believe it.

He didn't need her stories, he didn't need her food, he didn't need her paintings, or 'King Lear.'

He needed her.


	9. The Judge

**AN: Hi everyone! Moonmilk is back! Just want to let you know I will be updating the story slowly. Unfortunately I have a lot going on at the moment and I don't have as much time to write as I did about 2 months ago :(, but I will do my best! Enjoy this next installment! ~Moonmilk**

The Judge

It has been several days since Miku has seen Loki. The wedding was coming up fast, and she couldn't just stand around. Minutes, hours ticked by, Miku was bombarded with activities and 'fun' times with Darcy, Ian, or Queen Frigga. It wasn't like Miku didn't enjoy it, she just couldn't stop thinking about him.

Him.

The beatings and blood flashed through her mind everyday and she thought, "The same thing could be happening right now. Loki, is being beaten today...". Every once in a while, she shared a conversation about him with either Thor or Frigga. Both of them responded in cracked voices and trembling lips, then smiles when returning to the wedding set-up.

It was a hidden chamber, just pass the main dungeons. It was said to be a lot better and more 'home' like, but that didn't take away the pain of punishment. She wondered if he keeps the pictures she painted in there, or King Lear. She wanted to give him more, hear more or him, share more stories. That's it.

...

"Thor! Thor, wait, I need to-" Miku almost lost her balance when approaching the prince.

"Lady Miku? A-are you here to negotiate about my...brother?" He questioned and Miku nodded rapidly, brushing her messy black hair with her hands.

"I-I can't fight it anymore." The young girl took his metal padded arm and pushed him into a dark hallway, where no one could possibly hear. "Prince Thor, I can't bear it."

"Neither can I." Thor said, almost trembling, a knot began to well in his throat.

"We have to find a way," She whispered. Miku snapped her fingers and gasped slightly. "Magic, y-your mother can do it and we can find the room, we can visit him!"

"Magic," Thor inhaled slightly. "It's not as easy as you think. Loki's chamber is hidden Lady Miku, we know it's near the dungeon, but there are almost infinite possibilities on where it's exactly located."

"Location magic?" Miku shrugged and managed to do a smile. "Do you have that? You do don't you?"

"I never mastered in that area, I do know my mother has."

"Alright, then let's go find her!"

"Lady Miku." Thor grabbed her arm gingerly, pulling her back to meet his saddened azure eyes. "It's not that simple, it could drain my mother is she uses location and teleportation magic, she's not like she used to be."

"We have to do something, anything." She licked her lips and blinked. "Thor, never in my life have I been this...worried. Sure I've been worried about finding my dreams, or what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. But this, this is life and death!"

Thor was silent for a while, Miku could hear his ragged breathing. The mighty Thor was choking up. "I know. We...w-we can try."

Miku wanted to break down and hug Thor with happiness, her joy subsided in her heart and she drew in a ragged breath, trying to calm herself down. "Ok. Ok, thank you." She repeated.

Loki's brother looked down at Miku and slowly his lips drew apart, drawing Miku in.

"We're going to get him back, wether Odin, Jane or Darcy like it or not." Miku whispered, Thor responded with a hiccup. A joyful tear cascaded down his cheek and onto the shiny dark brown floor.

...

During midday, Thor and Miku rushed to Frigga's chambers, explaining their idea. Frigga, who was completely for the idea, began constructing her magic ideas, and how she would imagine the dungeons, trying to find Loki's secret chamber through closed eyes.

Thor had to admit he was worried. All of the work and power entering his mother's blood flow could cause an aneurism, or some sort of disease that could take over her body. Miku was silent as she sat down on one of Frigga's chairs, giggling her leg.

"Once I find the chamber, if I succeed. Miss Miku, you may visit."

Miku felt flabbergasted by Frigga's words. "My Queen, what about Thor. They are brothers, he should see him...why are you staring at me?" Miku looked at Thor, who was smiling widely at the young woman.

"Miku, you must see him. We all know your connection to Loki, he must see you first...I believe he feels...content when you're around."

"What? Y-you think he's content? H-he cares for me? As I do for him?" Miku's lip trembled as she lifted her chin.

"I know contentment in my son when I see it." Frigga interrupted. "You can calm him, then Thor will arrive. Dear," She approached her and pressed her palms on Miku's shoulders. "I will listen to you, you tell me when Loki is well and calm, I will send Thor and myself along."

"Mind reading." Miku breathed.

"Magic." Frigga breathed and grinned. She let go and basically floated across the room, raising her hands ever so gracefully. "Breathe child, stay calm, this will take only a few seconds."

Miku shut her eyes and kept her hands leveled at her side. A sensation began to flow through her. A light sensation, pulling her body. She kept them shut as her eyelids quivered. The wind slowed down and she felt something. She felt, stuffy.

Her chocolate eyes popped open as she felt nothing but cool fragments of wood on each side of her. Then she noticed a bright vertical crack, streaming in light. She was...she was in a closet? No clothes were visible or any objects.

Miku sat on her knees and peered through the crack of the dark wooden closet. Queen Frigga did it, now all she has to do is... Miku squinted her eyes and saw a sagged, older male frame peer into Loki's eyes. Loki, who was off his bed and leaning against the mahogany wood wall was dull, legs outstretched, not even acknowledging his father, the King.

Miku stayed where she was and listened. "Loki..." Odin breathed, he stepped forward and the guards watched carefully, raising their weapons slowly if Loki possibly lashes out. "My son do you...do you feel it? Do you understand the pain?" The King bent down and touched his pale shoulder.

"Don't touch." Loki growled quietly, which startled Odin as he stood upward again.

"I am...sorry." Chocked. Odin was chocked? Loki wanted to laugh, or at least scoff. "You've disobeyed the Asgardian law, you see...above them." Loki wanted to object and retort, but all of his energy left him, he could only say a few words, or so he thought. That is until King Odin changed the subject.

"Above them... Yet you could possibly be related to one by law. How does that make you feel?" He asked calmly.

"What makes me...want to acknowledge that, I will never see them. The marriage is soon...correct?" He whispered, leaning back, blinking his red rimmed eyes.

"Yes, and she, Jane Foster will be your princess."

Loki exhaled and focused on a side of the wall. "And what about the girl?"

Odin knew exactly who he was talking about. He watched his broken jade eyes fixate on the corner. The black painting covered in his blood. Odin blinked several times before responding. "She will, proceed back to Midgard, to live the rest of her mortal life."

"What do her things mean? Why is she..visiting me? I-I..."

"She has taken quite a liking to you my son."

Loki's eyes grew larger. "Son...son..." His posture leaned towards Odin, as the king shuffled back, hand on his chest plate. "SON?!" He hissed. "After all this time! You call me this, and you never bothered to visit me until I am no longer...to t-to." He began to cough and sputter.

"You might never know what that means." Odin pointed the painting out. "Sometimes you reach death without knowing a mystery."

"You are really leaving me here to rot? I-I will be beaten eternally, without T-Thor and...and her...that girl." Loki leaned back and grimaced, hands slowly moving to his stomach, he gripped it tightly.

"Why have you taken such an interest? You want to treat our guest as a slave don't you, a child's play toy?" Loki gritted his teeth at his father's words. "You want her books...food...and she, she fell under your trap. You use, you lie, you hate, now I believe that's the only thing you do-"

"I LOVE HER! I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART...W-WITH ALL MY SOUL!" He was now on his knees, staring up at Odin. A tear cascaded down his cheek as the king was speechless. He moved towards a guard and whispered to him, then the other, and his own father left him, to cry on his own.

...

Miku rested a hand on the right side of the closet. She felt sick, relieved, heartbroken and surprised at the same time.

'Queen Frigga, my Queen, please, please ta-" She whimpered/whispered as she fell the sensation again as her mind went blank, then back to normal again when she saw a surprised Thor and his mother.

Miku was on the floor trying to catch her breath. "It failed." Thor concluded as he hung his head, he then bent down and wrapped his arms around her, pushing her up.

"No...no, he-" Miku couldn't get the words out of her, her brown eyes looked into Frigga's shiny sapphire ones, the Queen nodded happily and Thor carefully put her into her loving arms.

"I knew all along. The way he analyzes you, looks at you." Frigga continued as Miku settled in her arms. The relieved mortal finally let go, trying to get the words out of her mouth.

"I need to go back. Please."


	10. His Heart, His Sorrow

His heart, his sorrow

Frigga smiled. For the first time in what felt like forever. Thor played along, who have a small chuckle. He knew what Frigga meant. It sounded like his own brother was cured, that he can possibly feel again. And it was all because of her.

Miku Kyoko.

Miku regained her strength and Frigga set her on a chair, rubbing her shoulders and touching her cheeks, her forehead. "You shall, you shall go back."

"But, but King Odin,"

"My husband," Her rose lips let out a troubled sigh. "doesn't understand. He can't see. I wish to talk to him once more, to possibly change his mind. I don't think he knows what's really going on with him."

"That is true." Thor added softly. "Father has almost... lost his mind."

"But," Frigga protested and kissed her forehead. "That won't ruin this. My darling I believe you are the cure." She shook her slightly and smirked. "The cure to my son."

"Not, that blasted machine that-"

Frigga turned her head to her son and shook it, and continued to rub her soft slender and wrinkled hands on Miku.

"Just relax, once more."

"O-of course."

...

The light began once more, and darkness shrouded her again. This was it, she was back. Miku exhaled unstably and peeked through the slit of white. He was still in his same position, but motionless. Legs outstretched, head down, Miku had to squint to see his red rimmed eyes, past his curly black locks.

It truly broke Miku's heart. And it broke her even more that he had the courage to tell his fate, his death. Odin, that he loves her. He couldn't keep it in, and Miku couldn't either.

It was concluded inside her that she loved him too.

Her fingers slowly eased the wooden door open, not even making a sound. She got an even better view now, his lips, still chapped, his feet, crusted with blood. He was completely still, besides the slow rising of his chest, it stuttered every few seconds.

Miku stepped out and her foot tapped against the floor, which made Loki swish his head, his hair pulled back now, revealing his grieving frame. Miku relaxed her posture and let out a small sigh. Her brown eyes began to burn, and her lip quivered. She couldn't just stand there like an idiot.

She rushed to his side, and gripped his shoulders gently. Loki's vert eyes stared at her in awe as his dark brows arched.

Miku couldn't help but let out a sob as she bit her lip to cease. "Was that true? All of it?"

Loki looked at the floor and his breathing grew rapid once more. He too, began to shake, his cheek muscles quivered as well as his lips. He couldn't help but mutter "I-I, ah-,"

Miku drew in a ragged breath. "You-y-you..." She couldn't look at him any longer, she let go of his shoulders and turned away from him, gripping her forehead and choking.

"Why are you he-here?"

"Please," Miku breathed and clenched her fists. "Please just tell me what you think, because I saw it. I saw King Odin and I've rebelled against the King, and so has your mom, and your brother."

"But, why come here, now, why ever?"

"We want you free, you don't deserve this, Thor, Queen Frigga, everyone wants you back. This has gotten to an ... an unbelievable extent. Loki, you understand?"

"Why are you here?!" That was the only question he could let out of his system. Miku had to act, fast.

"Because I love you!" She blurted and turned around, tears cascading and splashing to the floor. "And I know you do too. I heard it. I heard it all."

Loki paused and looked above, he slowly began to shake his head and press a distraught hand to his forehead. "You jest."

Jest? What? Why could he possibly believe that. Miku has been visiting him since her stay, and talked to him, understood him. Why would she jest or lie, she came here to tease him? He even believed Thor did when visiting him in his cell. And he thinks the same of her?

"You jest...you jest." He sobbed and clawed at his eyes, muttering and sneering. He continued to repeat those words and Miku as she bent down once more and placed her hands on his shoulders once more. One slowly moved to his chest and heart, and he wouldn't stop.

Miku removed her left arm off his shoulder and carefully turned his cheek to her. Brows still arched and eyes still red. Her hand slowly moved down to his chin and rubbed her thumb across his lip. He was now completely still, hands at his sides.

She lifted her chin and kissed those chapped lips, carefully, not knowing what he could do. He could lash, scream, hurt her or hurt himself. Why did Miku do this why-

He was still, everything except his eyelids fluttering from surprise. He was kissing back.

After a while Miku let go to catch her breath, instantly she wrapped her arms around him, coffee eyes wide, spilling tears against his dingy ripped green garments. She didn't mind the smell, she didn't mind the whimpers or the crusted blood now on her shirt.

She didn't mind him at all.

...

The rest of Miku's day was a blur after she left Loki that day. They talked for a few more hours. She rubbed his broken hands and pale arms. She kissed each finger of his and talked to him more about Midgard.

She took in his room. Broken glass, blood on his bed sheets, she also captured the painting. Miku Kyoko instantly left Loki's side, then returned with her attempted masterpiece, of...

"What does that mean? You were going to explain to me but I was quite confused." He finished slowly.

"Oh," Miku breathed and glared at her painting. "Nothing."

"I am nothing?"

She swished her head, her black locks colliding with her frame. "No, no you are... I felt bad for you, you know. That is why I visited you, you are...sorrow. At least for now." She blinked back more tears. Why did she bring this up? She couldn't cry anymore, not for him, not for herself.

"Sorrow." Loki repeated. "It means that, in your culture, er...language?"

Miku nodded slowly and set the picture down, feeling slightly overwhelmed that crusted blood was splattered on the canvas. "I studied you and I lashed out with my...art. I am sorry, b-but I am sure I can get you out of this, like I said. With your brother, and your mother by our sides." She could've sworn Loki flinched at the word 'brother'.

He stood up and slowly shuffled to her, then bent down again and brought his lips to hers, cradling her back. "You bring the sorrow out of me." He whispered.

...

The wedding was scheduled to happen tomorrow, that's at least what Miku heard when she returned to see an excited Frigga and pleased Thor. They sent her back to her room, she missed supper so they sent her food as well.

Jane was up late that night, doing whatever a bride needs to do for an Asgardian wedding, Miku didn't know. So, it's was just Darcy and her.

Darcy settled down for a movie with Miku, but honestly she couldn't even focus on the plot. It was all on Loki. How would he sleep tonight, does he even sleep? She won't be able to visit him tomorrow because of the plans, he won't even be able to see his brother be wed.

She shivered at the potential outcome. Truly aggravating and sorrowful. And what would her parents think of this? Her time was almost up, and she would have to go back to her studies, and possibly have to come up with ways to visit Loki in secret, with help from the Queen.

Miku felt like her mind was traveling in a blur. It was almost forbidden, no, it was. She had to do everything in her power to keep him, and he had to use his power as well, even if that meant rebelling against a whole kingdom. She had no idea how to do this. But it had to work.

It just had to.

It will save a life. His. And his sorrow.


	11. Message

**AN: Thank you to all of the followers, favorites and reviewers! I'm sorry his hasn't been updated for so long and I've been on a writers block for some time now :( , but luckily I have posted another one yippee! More to come as well. And don't forget to check out my other story I have been working on and it is still in progress: My Friends Never Die. If you know the game don't starve be sure to check it out! ~Moonmilk**

...

Message

Miku looked free. But she certainly wasn't, with Odin's rules here of course. It's not like they will go away dramatically or magically, he just doesn't understand. He never will, he won't even sway when Frigga stands in his way.

Loki will not be free. Forever.

Today was the wedding, and Miku Kyoko was devastated she couldn't visit him the whole day. She left him the night before with a few kisses and some kind words, telling him, that she will return. She thought about her return, what would they do? How would they interact and spend the rest of his days docked away?

The rest of his days.

She meant the rest of hers. And like she thought yesterday, how would her parents react? And Jane Foster? Plus her college studies would shift her time with Loki as well. This was a mess. A beautiful mess, something that manages to blossom love, understanding, but also the evil of reality. Many things were in Miku's way, they've always have been.

Miku had the back of her dress fastened by a maid, oh so carefully. Her fingers pressed against the lavender sides of her dress. It felt so soft, and cared for. Darcy felt content with her dress as well, even though it wasn't her clothing of choice.

The girls were happy for Jane, and for Thor. Miku could tell Darcy had nothing on her mind besides this. But she felt different of course, Loki was there, thoughts of him swarmed her brain. She couldn't help it!

But...she could. If she tried.

One day. Just one day of celebration. And Loki...all alone. This was going to be hard, unbelievably hard for him and for her. An adoptive brother, not being able to attend his brother's wedding. This was ridiculous, this was Odin of course. Miku shook her head slightly to try to cease the aggravating thoughts. Darcy looked at her and asked if she was doing ok, Miku lied and nodded, her lips curled in a smile.

Queen Frigga was frustrated too, no doubt, but the Queen had to hide it, for her sake. No breaking down at this wedding, no one should complain at a wedding, it just wasn't proper.

The garden was prepared wonderfully. Flowers draped from pillars and arches, and tables and tables of food stretched outward, with bread, meat, cheese and even ancient Asgardian delicacies. A trumpet, or...some sort of Asgardian musical instrument began to play at the Queen's arrival, as well as the bridesmaids.

Everything was absolutely perfect so far. The dew of the grass sponged in Miku's slippers, the smell was earthy and sweet, the flowers also helped with that. The crowd was very solemn, polite, clapping with care. This was no ceremony on Midgard. But, there was just one thing that stood out on this romantic day.

An ominous sky draped over Miku and the guests, it's winds causing the young women to cover their bare shoulders with drapes. Frigga seemed to walk quickly at the first wind, she quickly grabbed Darcy's hand, who was behind her, and lead the ladies to their spots.

Odin, who arrived moments after his wife, was draped in fur last second because of the blustery circumstances, as well as extra ebony and gold armor. The crowd was silenced and Odin gave a brief speech about his son, Thor, as he he entered. The crowd had a different vibe when the new King made his way to the arch, it was like a rock concert. Miku couldn't help but cheer, she had to get exited, that's what she is, an exciting girl, and this is an exciting day. Darcy seemed to agree too when she tried to reach over and grab a glass of wine being carried by servers. Frigga slapped her hand calmly.

"Now," Odin began and paused for a moment, his voice seemed to echo through the garden, even though the place was outdoors, non barricaded by walls. "We have been waiting for this moment, this, new future for my kingdom," He paused again. He smile felt like a mirage, Miku felt it was going to cripple and fade away. King Odin was discouraged, for whatever for. But Miku plastered on a smile, like she always has, ignoring his strange communicating. "His kingdom," Thor. The King turned and his blood cloak swished with him. He seemed to stare at the side of the altar, where most of the crowd was, and an open space when a certain figure could squeeze his way through the crowd and join the royal family above. "Your, kingdom." He echoed. The audience. "My friends, my people, your new king." Was all he could say.

The crowd broke out again in a loud booming cheer. Surprisingly Thor did not belt out with a mighty roar of approval, he bowed, but he did seem to wink at his father.

Sooner than later, Jane Foster, a friend, a supporter, a queen, entered the garden. Her dress was like no other style Miku has ever seen on a bride. Jewels cascaded down her white fabric, the veil stretched over 17 feet at least, and was carried at the end by two helpful maids, who were dressed to the nines as well.

She approached Thor gracefully, with purple dusted half closed eyelids and a shiny pink smirk. Miku did not understand how Jane could be so under control when marrying the prince of her dreams, literally. Miku's heart started to melt as Odin began the ceremony. Jane, her friend was going to be queen, and it would go down in history that she will be the first mortal to rule such a place! And for Miku this was a wondrous memory forever in her book.

The ceremony seemed to stretch and Odin continued to talk for what seemed 5 minutes! Miku could notice Darcy tapping her fingers and palm against her lilac dress pursing her lip slightly. Miku had to at least move a little from standing so still, who ever knew this could go on for such a long time. But Jane was impeccably starstruck with the being before her. Staring into the aquamarine iris' who pierced her green ones, shining even in the light grey sky with little to no sun.

"I am grateful and proud to have Jane serve as our Queen, we mu-" He was going to continue, but the grey king was cut off my a blood curling scream. Miku's ebony hair swished as she caught a woman in the audience, who dropped her glass of wine, blood seeping out of her reddened lips. A man, who Miku guessed was her lover, grabbed her and screamed for health care.

Miku gasped and watched Thor step in, demanding who poisoned the drinks. The prince was clever, no doubt. Poison, of course she was poisoned. And Jane, she was patient for marriage and gripped onto her finance's armored arm. "I demand a traitor to show themselves!" His voice booming with anger as he turned around the scene, red cape swishing around him and Jane.

Miku and Darcy followed Thor and Jane to the scene as they watched the woman slowly commence revival.

"Who could've done this?" Jane trembled and continued to watch guards storm the area.

"Jane, I am so sorry, I didn't know a thing like this would have happened-"

"It's not your fault." She bellowed to Darcy. "Someone is dying, and we must get to the bottom of this." Jane looked back at the Queen, being comforted by guards.

"We must find our betrayer before it's too-" Thor bellowed angrily right before he was cut off, by yet another scream. A woman's, at least 20 feet away. Mother. But this time, blood wasn't a factor, on her at least.

A crunch noise echoed severely throughout the garden, and a shriek of citizens followed after as a heap of black and gold body covered armor collapsed in front of the flowery arch.

The mild grey sky began to swirl, and Jane could notice that Thor's eyes seemed a little more blue than before.


	12. Don't trust a perfect person

**AN: Thank you for the follows and reviews! Unfortunately this story is eventually coming to a close, only a few more chapters left. But there is good news, I am actually working on a new non romance Loki story right now. If you would like to know about it please just PM me, I am planning on posting it this spring/summer and it's going to be my longest story yet!**

 **Thanks for waiting for this next Kanashimi installment! ~Moonmilk**

...

Miku looked up at the swirling sky and then heard a new shriek, different from the rest. A call of war...like it came right out of a war themed movie. Her brown eyes came into focus, and she noticed that at least twelve to twenty men of all ages teen to adult had raised weapons, standing upon a worn out brown building next to the garden.

The bride and future queen seemed to notice as well, and clenched her almost husband's arm in fear. She then looked down and noticed the horror also taking place on the ground. The woman, who was bleeding through the lips was pronounced dead, she laid motionless, her dress gashed open revealing most of her chest, blood trailing down. Jane Foster's view began to blur as she looked to her right, the black red and gold armor was still on the ground, and King Odin's bloodied hair connected with the freshly green grass, it too was dripping with the King's own blood and flesh.

Frigga broke into sobs and a male servant carried her away as she clutched to his chest, holding back any more screams. Jane looked up at her fiancé, who suddenly let her go so incredibly rough that she was brought to the ground. Darcy helped her up and tugged her away from the strange men, their weapons still drawn.

Miku began to take several steps back in urgency to catch up with the bride and Darcy. Ian and Eric Selvig raced past her, their Asgardian attire brushing against her, not even caring. She saw Thor rush to his father, standing by his side and his hand brushing the side of his red cape. With his right hand, a hammer entered it, and it was raised at the attackers.

One was knocked down and the hammer came back in his hand. An extraordinary bolt of white lightning crashed into the group of traitors and they were easily taken out. Thor's breaths became ragged after he finished, he kneeled over his father and a cry escaped his throat.

Miku wanted to grab his future king and reassure him, possibly help carry the king to a resting place. He...he was dead, and the funeral preparations were probably well on their way. Her heart sank. Several soldiers passed her and ran to their fallen king, until one grabbed her shoulder harshly and pushed her back. That was a sign, a sign to run.

She broke into a sprint and eventually she found the huge crowd of guests. Out of all the chatter a sorrowful voice of the lover who lost the woman called out, then Darcy, who was trying to calm down Ian. And then Jane, who was pushing through the crowd of guests and brought Miku into a bone crushing hug. The soft sobs of Jane were against her bridesmaids dress, and Miku sobbed against the pure white of hers.

"Miku, Miku please, just...just go home, I'll talk to Heimdall and you can head home with Darcy...and...and Ian, and Eric,"

"No!" Miku didn't know where that came from. She was clenching Jane's tan arms and her brows furrowed. "N-no Jane! Not without you!" 'Not without Loki.' Miku Kyoko's lip quivered slightly as that thought popped up.

"This is my fault," For some strange reason, Miku could hear Jane's sobs over the rest. "This is on me, just please," she clenched her teeth and Miku grabbed her arms even tighter. "please leave." Miku looked above her as a bolt of lightning erupted once more. Without any more conversation, Jane Foster pushed her towards Ian and Darcy, then ran to Frigga for support.

Miku was always a helper, or at least she tried to be. There were too many times she was shooed away by someone even though she thought it was beneficial. And this time, it didn't look like her help with Queen Frigga was going to be beneficial. She was contemplating, but that was interrupted by Eric Selvig, who grabbed her hand as the four humans beat their feet down the golden halls.

...

Thor, Jane, and the guards ordered the four to stay in their rooms for the rest of the night. It was very beneficial though, that the guards gave information on the attackers.

"A rebel group. We have no clue what they were possibly against but it has to do with the now late king for sure."

"Are you sure we don't have anything we can do to help?" Eric asked, almost whispery. The guard bellowed a soft no and bid them goodnight. "Shit." Selvig muttered as he sat slowly on a bed.

Ian trembled against the soft bedroom wall and rested a right palm against it. Red faced. Darcy was right next to him, sitting crossed legged and scratching her lip with a fine painted lavender nail, her makeup smeared.

It was also said by the guards that Thor was transferred to a nearby special room for grieving, as well as his mother, who requested it themselves. Jane was also missing from the group, no where to be found.

"We have to find her." Darcy said almost trembling. Eric Selvig responded swiftly.

"No."

"You don't understand she could be away from Thor. The guards said nothing about her, she clearly isn't grieving with him." Her dark hair covered most of her face. Darcy's light eyes now darkened with grief.

"Ian? Miku?" Selvig sighed and turned to the duo. Ian was still pushed up against the wall, looking down with trembling lips. Miku looked at him and instantly wondered what it was like for him, for Selvig, even Darcy and Jane. Normal people, now caught in a catastrophe, right before a wedding and after a holiday of thanks. It was scary, especially for the bride.

"W-what if...what if you know who had to do with this?" Ian finally spoke. "That Loki guy, I mean."

Miku tensed and shook her head. He couldn't have, he's helpless, locked up in the most private cell imaginable in Asgard. Well, not so private if Frigga can teleport herself and Miku into his room. "He didn't. I'm sure of it. He can't l-lead a group o-of people like that."

"This man tried to dictate our own home, what do you mean he didn't?" Eric argued quietly, looking up at Miku with furrowed eyebrows and squinted eyes. "He hated the king, he's dead because of him."

Miku was furious. But if she spoke a flurry of stutters and tears will follow. Instead she bit her lip until it almost drew blood. At least this time she won't regret speaking, because she kept it inside her for once.

Kyoko looked at Ian, then Selvig who was still looking at her, then let out a frantic and quick cry before sprinting towards the door. She grabbed he knob so quickly, lavender polish chipped off her nails. Selvig cried out her name and stood up as fast as he could, but it was too late.

Miku felt like she wanted to collapse, but her will continued to swirl in her, causing her to run faster.

No guards in sight, and Miku didn't even know where to go, her feet smashed for countless of minutes as she swerved through the golden halls. What was she doing? She was stupid, absolutely stupid, she couldn't even find the grieving room, let alone Jane or the Queen herself, she stopped to catch her breath and waited for the calls of Eric Selvig.

No echoes, no noises but her own rapid breathing. She was about to take another step and set forth to find her friend until she was swept away by a glowing green light. She tried her hardest not to scream. Miku was always known for making unnecessary loud noises.

Her eyes were now transfixed on moist aqua ones. The Queen of Asgard stood before her, hands trembling and being held towards her midsection. Her lips cracked and her mouth taking unbelievable breaths. "Miss...Kyoko." She muttered as she trailed towards her, taking the black haired mortal into a hug.

...

Miku's brown eyes began to water too, and it slipped down her foundation painted cheek. This was a disaster, some crazy part of her brain always told her Odin was a terrible person. But in the end, he wasn't, he was angry, but he was a king, doing what's best for his country. And Frigga knew that Miku was devastated by the King's death.

"I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry." Miku couldn't think of any more words to utter. She could also notice a hint of red fabric and golden hair. Thor. They were right he was grieving with his mother, but where was Jane. "Jane." Miku muttered and lifted her head from Frigga's chest.

"She, is lost." Thor sniffed slightly, she could tell the thunderer was too bawling his eyes out from the loss. "Please, milady there is no need to apologize. We just need to understand what these savages want by killing my father."

Frigga's breathing stopped and grew slower. She pressed her peach lips in a thin line and sat Miku down on the bed. "Jane is safe, she is with a guard so Thor can grieve with, me, his family. I can transfer her eventually, but...miss Miku we must, I must, confess."

"Confess?"

"About Loki..."

Loki? Was the rumor true, did he lead the savage group? That would be impossible. But if it were true, she wasn't sure if she could face him again. Slowly a lump in her throat emerged, and worries filled her mind once more, much worse than college worries. She kissed this man, this killer. He was one, was...

But this new murder was a rumor, possibly a hoax she was hopping.

"H-he killed him. The m-man I love killed a monarch?!" Miku now exploded, she's had moments like these, but this breakdown felt entirely different. "Why didn't you tell me before, I...I love this man, and you know it too..Mr...Mr Thor." She was beginning to exasperate her words.

"Miku, Miku listen to me darling." Frigga cooed, pressing her forehead against the crying girl.

"I need to leave, please, just send me back I don't want to see him p-please I can't I've tried so hard to show him kindness and it won't work. It was a chaste kiss I know it! I kno-!"

"Milady! Milady...the group, indeed was for him." Frigga bellowed and sniffed. "But he doesn't know of it."

Miku slowed her breathing and Frigga rubbed her hands down her shoulders and onto her arms to calm the panic. "What?"

"There is a resistance. To free Loki."


End file.
